Ode to Orange Julius
by fucking faggot
Summary: Tails drags Knuckles to a mall for an "important" discussion, but (gosh golly gee!) stupid things happen.


Ode to Orange Julius  
  
DISCLAIMER: (enter boring disclaimer here)  
  
Author Notes: Thought I would take a shot at writing a Sonic fanfic. I'm a bit rusty on writing anything, but whatever.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Ode to Orange Julius  
  
Knuckles sat at one of the food court tables in the huge mall. Tapping the table impatiently, he growled to himself "Damnit, where is Tails? He was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago."  
  
He looked all around him. Many people kept on looking at him, the only people that really didn't ackknoledge him were the anime "otakus", who thought of him as another person cosplaying as some character. Knuckles grunted and started talking to himself again, "I hate those smiles. Those uncomfortable smiles of fear, hatred, or curiosty. It's like they haven't seen an echidna before!" He clenched his fist and started shaking it. "Damn closed minded people. Who are they trying to impress with their skimpy clothes!?" he yelled out loud. Everyone in the food court turned to him and stared. "What!? Why are you looking at me that way!? Are you trying to get a glimpse of my ass??" Knuckles shrieked. People around him started moving away.  
  
Knuckles sighed. At least he was alone now. He looked at the huge clock on the wall. "Damnit, where is Tails? Fuck, why did I have to come here anyways!?" he growled, punching the table in anger, which broke easily due to Knuckles' immense strength. He freaked out and ran to another table screaming "I didn't do it!". As usual, people stared.  
  
Knuckles sat down at another table, watching people move away from him. Then he saw a couple of skater boys walking toward him, "Oh no." he muttered, and hid his face with his hands.   
  
One of the Skaters pulled one of the chairs out and sat in front of Knuckles, while the other stood behind him. The one sitting down started laughing and said "Aw, whatcha hiding from?". Knuckles grunted and put his hands down on the table, saying "Look. What do you want?". The boy standing behind him shoved his face in Knuckles' face, "Oh nothing. Just wanting to fuck with someone to pass the time." Knuckles' eye twitched, "Okay, don't rip them limb from limb. I don't want to go to jail today." he thought to himself. The skater in front of him started chuckling, "Oh man. You crack me up, Dreadhead." he said, grabbing one of Knuckles' spines and pulling on it hard. Knuckles let out a high pitched screech, not of pain, but of anger. He was loosing his patience fast.  
  
"Whoa!" the skater in front of him said, letting go of Knuckles' dreadlock/spine, "You got a girly squeel. What are you, a fucking fag!?". Knuckles blinked, as he didn't know what that meant, so he said uncomfortably "Yess...I am, uh...I'm the greatest fag of all time!". The skaters backed away from him, laughing their asses off, "Haha! He's a faggotmaggot!" one of them said. Knuckles grunted, he had enough of this. "Okay, I think you've had your fun now." he said, grabbing one of the skater's arms and started swinging him around, then throwing him at a wall. The other skater boy started freaking out, and ran away screaming. Knuckles yelled at him while he was running away, "NOW who's screaming like a girl!?". He didn't bother chasing him, he just walked to another table, in front of the "Orange Julius".  
  
Knuckles layed his head on the table and started cursing to himself. "Mother fuck fuckity shit ass whore dick twatty twat cunt slut FUCK. Where the hell is Tails!?" He heard a voice behind him "I'm right here, Silly!". Knuckles turned around to see a fox with his trademarked two tails. "Tails! There you are! You're late!" he shrieked angrily. Tails looked at him oddly, and said "No, I'm not...you must have came here early. I said 'I'll be there at 2 o'clock', and it's 2 o'clock right now...". Knuckles freaked out, and looked at the clock on the wall, "Oh man, you're right. I need some glasses or something..." he said sadly. Tails laughed and sat down in front of him "No, you just need to learn how tell time!"  
  
Knuckles twitched, "What!? Are you saying I'm stupid? Are you saying that I have the I.Q. of Big the Cat!?" he yelled at the little fox. Tails backed away, "Uhm, no, I was just saying-", Knuckles cut him off, mimicing him "I was just saying, I was just saying, blah blah BLAH! Fuck you, mister know-it-all mutant fox! You think I have time to study on stupid shit as how to tell time!? I have to guard a huge emerald! AND I...I'm thirsty." Tails got up and ran to get Knuckles' a drink before he got the shit kicked out him.  
  
Tails came back with a cup labeled "Orange Julius" and sat it on the table, Knuckles tilted his head and stared at it. Tails looked at him uncomfortably and said "Uhm, I know that you like fruit and all, so I thought you might like this." Knuckles grunted and said "What exactly is it?" Tails thought for a moment, and said "I haven't got a clue. But it says Orange on it, so that has to mean something.". Knuckles grabbed the cup and drank some of it, and shrugged, "Eh, it's okay.". He put the cup down, and looked at Tails, "So, whats this 'important' news that you had to tell me about so badly that you had to drag me to a filthy mall?" he said while wearing a creepy grin.  
  
Tails looked at him oddly and said "Uh...okay. Uhm, well, I'm working on a new machine, and I was wondering if you could help...seeing as you're super strong and everything. I asked Sonic to help, but he flipped me off." Knuckles was still wearing that creepy grin while staring at Tails. The fox boy shifted in his chair uncomfortably. The Echidna took a sip of the orange julius and said "You know Tails, you look very pretty in mall lights.". Tails freaked out and shrieked "What!? What is THAT supposed to mean?". Knuckles grinned, reaching over the table to grab Tails on his shoulders, saying "You know EXACTLY what it means. Now lets have hot sex on this sticky table NOW." Tails shrieked, punching Knuckles in the jaw. Knuckles fell out of his chair, whiles Tails kept on backing away from him, pointing and screaming, "You're not Knuckles! You're a fake! What have you done with that gullible wannabe-black-boy echidna that we all know and love-LIKEABROTHER!?". Knuckles got up and rubbed his jaw, mumbling, "Say what? What are you rambling on about, Fuzzball?". Tails stared at him, backing away. "Why are you walking off like that, Tails? You were saying something about Sonic flipping you off." Knuckles said, sitting down.  
  
The foxboy sat down in front of Knuckles again, uncomfortably. He easily forgave people. "Uhm, yeah" he started saying, "He flipped me off when I asked him to help me with my new machine. I want you to help." Knuckles laughed, "I guess little boy blue has better things to do thant to fiddle with machinary. Like, uhm, fuck underaged girls. I don't know." he took a drink of the orange julius, and started twitching. Tails frowned, and said "Are you okay?". The red echidna shook his head, saying "Uh, yeah. I think.".  
  
Knuckles felt something pulling on one of his spines, he looked down to see a little girl with her little hands wrapped around one of his dreadlocks. Knuckles grunted and pushed the girl away, "Stop it". The girl giggled and grabbed another spine and pulled on it harder. Knuckles let her do it for a while, until he got pissed and punched her into a wall. Tails screamed, "Knuckles! Why did you do that!? She was only a little kid...". Knuckles grunted, "She almost made me spill my bride." he said, licking the orange julius cup.   
  
Tails stared at him, shaking his head, and looked up to see the little girl's angry mother stomping toward them. The foxboy tugged on Knuckles arm, "Uhm, we got company.", he turned to the Echidna only to see him still licking the orange julius cup seductively. The girl's mother grabbed Knuckles out of the chair and started screaming at him, "Why!? Why did you punch her!? She was only having harmless fun!!". Knuckles wasn't paying attention to her, as he was too busy petting the orange julius cup like a cat. The woman then started screaming at the Echidna, shaking him violently, causing him to drop the cup on the floor. Knuckles screamed in horror, staring at the cup on the floor. He broke free of the woman's grasp, bending down and picking up the orange julius cup. "No! NO! You fucking BITCH! You killed Martha!" he screamed, crying and shaking his fists angrily. Tails snickered to himself, "Martha?". The Woman stared at Knuckles, and started screaming "You KILLED my daughter! Why the fuck are you freaking out about a cup!?".  
  
Knuckles turned to the woman glaring at her. "Cup? CUP? THAT WAS MY WIFE!" he shrieked, his body shaking fiercly. Tails backed away, "Oh crap!" he screamed, starting to run way. Knuckles lip curled, his body starting to glow, shaking his fist. "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" He screamed, "YOU WILL PAY!!", then he pressed the jump button twice, and became Hyper Knuckles. The woman looked at him and raised an eyebrow, "You think a fancy little light show is going to impress me, punk?" she said angrly, putting her hands on her hips. Knuckles grinned evily, punching the woman in the skull. He enjoyed watching her brain-meats fall out and splash all over the wall. Everyone in the food court started to scream, and run away in fear. Knuckles screamed "YOU WILL ALL PAY! EVEN YOU, JACK NICKELSON!", his body started glowing and shaking. He flew up into the sky, smashing through the ceiling. Everyone in the mall sighed in relief, thinking he was gone. Knuckles stood in mid air above the mall, grinned, and started glowing again. Then he started flying down toward the mall, screaming "NUCLEAR DIVEBOMB!". When he collided with the mall, the ground started shaking. The mall exploded, and a mushroom cloud formed that could be seen from space. Tails flew away from the mall, and landed in some park. He started freaking out, "Oh, this is all my fault!" he said, "I shouldn't have bought that orange julius thing for him!" he sobbed. Then he shrugged and said "Oh well. I'll just blame it on Knuckles anyways.", then he walked of whistling.  
  
Later that day, Knuckles was sitting in Sonic's house, watching the news, that was broadcasting the "Terror Attack" on the mall. Sonic walked in the room, and bitch slapped Knuckles, muttering "Idiot! Now Amy Rose is sobbing all over herself because you destoryed the mall! Now I'm going to have to entertain her by doing strip teases! AND WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO STRIP OFF, HUH!? PULL OFF SHOES AND GLOVES AREN'T CUTTIN' IT FOR HER!". Knuckles yawned and scratched his ass. Sonic screamed "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! Don't you have a master emerald to guard!?". Knuckles glared at Sonic and said angrily "I pawned it.". The hedgehog blinked, then smacked his forehead and groaned, "Oh never mind. Is there any porn on?" he said as sat down next to the echidna, reaching for the remote. Knuckles screamed at him, "NO! The welches grape juice commericial is on!", then he turned to the TV and started drooling. Sonic mumbled to himself, "Screw this. I'll just go fuck some underaged girl." and walked off. Knuckles sat there, staring at the TV, muttering "Oh man, I want a piece of that grape action." and started licking the Television, giggling evily.  
  
END  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Stupid ending. Whatever. 


End file.
